Maybe it was because my parents were divorced, or maybe because of my mom's instability or my dad's anger, but while I was growing up I felt broken and empty. In high school I tried to satisfy that feeling by constantly having a girlfriend, going from relationship to relationship looking for the love I felt would make me whole again. I tried to quiet the pain by expressing it with musical instruments and by pouring my feelings out in poetry, and I tried to escape the pain by turning to sex and diving into science fiction books.
When I started college I was still looking for something to satisfy and fill me, but nothing helped. A couple of my friends were Christians so I talked with them - they were good friends but I didn't really believe what they believed, although I was curious about this group of people who valued love and forgiveness so highly. I believed there was a God out there, but I wasn't sure about this Jesus that they believed in.
I was hungry to fill the void within me so I began reading about Christianity. I was impressed to find there is a part of the Bible written 700 years before Jesus was born that gives amazing detail about Jesus's life and death (Isaiah 53:1-12). I was impressed again to find that even most non-Christian historians admit that a man named Jesus lived about 2000 years ago and was involved in a religious cause. Even more, I found that there is solid evidence to support that the Bible we have today is the same document that existed 2000 years ago.
Around then I searched the internet to find out what exactly it means to be a Christian and I read an article that quoted the Bible saying, "...God gave us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life (1 John 5:11-12). I felt that God was saying to me, "If you want to follow me then you'll have to accept that Jesus is my Son."
Not long after, someone shared with me that Jesus wants to be Lord in my life, the one in charge of all of my decisions, and that this was his rightful position in my life. That day I chose to invite Jesus to be my Lord, in charge over every part of my life.
It didn't happen overnight, but after walking with Jesus for a while the place where I felt broken has been put back together, and the painful emptiness has been filled by him.
I no longer carry the constant ache that something is missing, and I feel well loved, like a whole person. I'm not looking for something to fill the emptines, because it has already been filled!
Here is a video that gives a great explanation of Jesus's message: